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Tragedy

The Pain of Suicide

Dr. Paul | June 13, 2018 |
 

With the recent suicides of two celebrities, Kate Spade and Anthony Bourdain, both of whom were at the peak of their fame, once again we find ourselves trying to understand one of the most mysterious causes of death—suicide. Just last month, the Center for Disease Control issued their report on the dramatic increase in suicide, particularly in middle aged white males and in females.

It’s difficult to make sense of two disparate statistics—the significant increased use of anti-depressants among teens and adults and a rising rate of suicide. According to the American Psychiatric... Read More

One more mass murder

Dr. Paul | February 21, 2018 |
 
American flag flown at half mass.

It’s horrifying to see the faces of children whose lives are over, just because they were at the wrong place at the wrong time. Their families, friends, and schoolmates will be forever traumatized by this horror. It’s becoming such a common occurrence in this American landscape—Sandy Hook, Las Vegas, and now, Florida. Locally, we’ve experienced our own terror, in Marysville and Mukilteo. We’re no strangers to this geography. In 2017, there were 346 mass murders, where four or more individuals were killed.

It’s too easy to blame this on individuals with psychiatric disabilities. It’s... Read More

The horror in Las Vegas

Dr. Paul | October 04, 2017 |
 
Las Vegas strip.

When I first heard about the shooting in Las Vegas, my reaction was muted—“Another shooting”, I sadly thought. But then, on the way home from work, I listened to first-person accounts of the shooting.  As I heard a man describe what happened, I had a sinking feeling in my gut. This event was even worse than I imagined. Joyful concert goers, listening to the music they love, thought they heard fireworks—until they realized that a fusillade of bullets was raining down on their bodies. No more needs to be said. Most of us have either seen or heard this disturbing news.

It’s been... Read More

Coping with the painful news of the world

Dr. Paul | April 19, 2017 | 1 comment
 
Man reading the paper at breakfast.

As a 65-year-old, I’m no stranger to the distressing world and national news. Goodness knows I’ve lived through a great deal of volcanic change in my lifetime, sad as well as terrifying moments, and several periods of uncertainty. Many of these stick in my head—the day Kennedy was assassinated, Martin Luther King’s murder, the Cuban missile crisis, the years of the Vietnam War, the civil rights movement, and numerous new presidents coming into office. I have also witnessed amazing upheaval too—the end of apartheid in South Africa, the fall of the Soviet Union, the tumbling down of the... Read More

#MukilteoStrong

Dr. Paul | August 03, 2016 | 5 comments
 
Kamiak High School students stop to remember.

On Monday, I took a trip out to the Harbour Point Everett Clinic to meet with staff and providers who were reeling from the emotional impact of the recent murders in Mukilteo. Dr. Dahlberg, a long-time family doctor in the community, realized that their staff would need support.  One of the team, a mom, was worried about the safety of her young children. “How can I be sure that my kids are safe when something like this can happen in our city?” she asked. An act of mass murder that happens down the street is startling, frightening, and overwhelming. How can something like this happen in our... Read More

Senseless acts of violence

Dr. Paul | July 13, 2016 | 22 comments
 
Man in serious thought.

Lately, it seems like every week we hear about another suicide bombing, tragedy, or senseless act of violence—Paris, Brussels, Orlando, Turkey, Bangladesh, Baghdad, Minneapolis, Louisiana, and now, Dallas. Scores of innocent lives are lost. It’s hard to grasp what’s happening in our world. It’s even harder to imagine how to stop it.

Sometimes, it appears to be the work of an extremist group, like ISIS, that’s committed to senseless mayhem. Of course, terrorists want to create terror.  They hope to disrupt travel, tourism, and commerce. They want to incite fear.  In other instances,... Read More

Losing a loved one

Dr. Paul | August 24, 2015 | 4 comments
 
Couple grieving together.

Several weeks ago, my wife and I were having dinner overlooking the harbor in Wellfleet, Massachusetts on beautiful Cape Cod. It was a warm summer evening, cooled by a gentle breeze. The setting sun shimmered, reflected by the water. We were discussing our children’s recent visit when my eyes welled up with tears. As we talked, I realized that my mother, who died a year and half ago, wouldn’t be part of my future. I would never see her again. I was thrown upside down, knocked over by an intense wave of grief.

I thought about other losses—my brother who died at 32, my father who... Read More

Learning from life's pain

Dr. Paul | April 09, 2015 | 2 comments
 
photo of sad woman

Why me? It’s a natural question when a family member dies before their time, when a relationship ends, or when we lose a job.

At first, we feel stunned. Deep inside, we expect that our lives should unfold uneventfully. We believe that we should be the master of our fate. Tragedy happens to others, but not us.

At the same time, our culture is filled with pictures of happy, satisfied men and women pursuing their dreams. When we are the victims of misfortune, we can feel let down by life. We may feel that something is wrong with us. We may feel that we did something wrong.

... Read More

Is there a reason for everything?

Dr. Paul | December 08, 2014 | 1 comment
 
photo of question mark

As a psychologist, hearing about misfortune and tragedy is my daily fare. How do adults understand and make sense out of unexpected loss or life reversals?

An interesting article (“Does Everything Happen for a Reason?” New York Times, October 19,2014, by Konika Banerjee and Paul Bloom) describes a young man who was seriously injured at the Boston Marathon in 2013. After numerous surgeries and months of rehabilitation, he developed a relationship with one of... Read More

The Shooting in Marysville: Why?

Dr. Paul | November 06, 2014 | 16 comments
 
Marysville Pilchuck High School

We will be speculating about the motives and mental state of Jaylen Fryberg for many weeks to come. We will probably never know what he was thinking, feeling, or imagining when he brought a gun to school with the intention of shooting friends and relatives on Friday, October 24th. Investigators will try to put together whatever clues they can find and form a likely scenario. But I don’t think we will ever know for certain.

What we do know is very scant and superficial. He was popular. He was well liked. He was on the football team. He was chosen to be in the Homecoming court. He had... Read More

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